Friends in Recovery

(a buddy system)

    Below, you'll find short biographies, so that it may be a little easier making the choice of a recovery buddy.  We are all "safe", and have been in recovery for a substantial amount of time, and are through the "worst of it".  After reading the biographies, choose one or more survivors,  click on the link
    and specify the survivor's name in the subject line.
My name is Ken, 

     I am a survivor of childhood emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse.  My mother was the most violent one in our family, and because she had issues with her brother that she had never resolved, I became the family scapegoat.  Because she felt inadequate and defective, she took every opportunity to make me feel that way, so that she could feel powerful and righteous.  She was a rage-aholic, so the violence and extreme shaming were an everyday occurrence.  I ended up feeling weak, wrong, terrified, ashamed, self conscious, hyper vigilant, disgusting, empty, hopeless.  I was allowed no boundaries.  I had no sense of the space my body occupied.  I felt awkward, as if I had no control of my body.  I became numb.  I believed I was unloving, and unlovable. 
     My father either stayed distant (most of the time) or explosive (I never knew when it was comin').  He modeled being self conscious, socially inept, alcoholic violent/withdrawn. 
    When I was 14, I was  molested by a pedophile, who spent nearly 2 years setting it up so that my parents trusted him enough to take a bunch of us to the 1964 New York World's Fair.  While we were there, he tried to drug us, (but I didn't take the pill). 
     I grew up in the country, in Pennsylvania, and that helped me survive.  I live almost in the wilderness now; that feeds me, and inspires me now.  I had a grandfather who gave me paperback books when he came to visit, and that helped me survive. Now I love to read, and learn, and both are important to me .  I had an aunt and an uncle who told me I was special, and had a gallon of clams in their refrig, especially for me each time we came to visit.  Up here in Maine, I dug clams for a living for over 10 years, and I eat them whenever I want. 
     As an adult, I became alcoholic and drug addicted.  I have been clean and sober for over 11 years.  Quit cigarettes 6 years ago.  Had my first child abuse flashback 2 weeks after I stopped drinking and drugging. 
     I have 2 sons, 18 and 14..Shawn and Francis respectively.  And I am a good father, (I have raised them on my own). 
     I would be glad, and honored, to correspond with fellow survivors during their recovery journey!    Contact Me

My Name is Susan, 

          I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor.  My abuse was repressed until 4 years ago.  While reading a newspaper article about a priest-abuser, I suddenly remembered my own molestation.  I was horrified!  I felt as if my abuse had JUST occured.  The flash- 
backs I started having were so being abused in real time. 
          With my remembering also came an  understanding of why I was the way I had been my whole life.  I knew why I had  always been so withdrawn, so shy, so very afraid of men.  I knew why I was always depressed, why I had tried suicide twice 
before I was 16. I knew why I hated  myself! 
          I immediately started going to therapy.   I was not able to cope with all the fears, thoughts and feelings that were flooding  me. 
          While in therapy, I came to realize that having lived with an alcoholic father had taken its toll on my childhood too.   I had  been witness to,  and the recipient of much violence. 
          I am the mother of two wonderful adult children...I even have a precious grandson.  
          I would love to correspond with you for mutual support and encouragement!Contact Me
My Home Page

My name is Joe 
I am a..soon to be 40 year old Incest survivor. I am a first time full-time college student who just made the Honor Roll. I am a volunteer victim advocate for the local Child Victim Task Force. I am an emergency crisis counselor for the local Rape Victim Services. I am a christian. I am a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend, and I am gay. Why do I tell you all of this? Because each little part of who I am goes together to make me the man that I am! We, as survivors can not be labeled as "just survivors", we are so much more!! The abuse that we suffered as children does not mean that we must continue to be victims! We are strong, we are capable, we are loving, and we are loveable! When did I discover all of this? Parts of it I have known forever, other pieces of it have come to me gradually over many years. I did not always know that I was loveable, I used to feel that I was only good for the sexual pleasure of others. I was not always loving, I used to be a bitter, angry, and sometimes even violent person. I was not always a father, even though my sperm helped to create a life nearly 16 years ago, I never felt worthy of my son! I always wanted to be a father to my son, but I was too afraid! You see I was molested by my dad...and he supposedly loved me, so how could I be sure that I would not do the same to my child?? I could not be sure so I chose to be an absent father, never meeting my son until he was 14 years old! I missed the best part of my son's life because I could not take the chance that I would be the same kind of monster that my dad was, what a loss!! Do I know now that I am not the monster that my dad was? YES!! I know that I could never hurt someone as I was hurt, I know it now, but those years of my son's life can never be gotten back. Do you have to suffer the same loss that I suffered? NO!! How can you keep from losing what may be the most important things in your life? You can find someone to help you out of the darkness of abuse, someone who will help you to heal your inner child. Where do you find someone like this? Well...if you can relate to my can e-mail me and I will do my best to help you find out who you are before you lose more of yourself. I look forward to getting to know you as the special person that you are! 
Contact Me
My Home Page
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